I wish someone had told me this. I wish someone had said “it’s ok to want to go back to work.” It’s ok to not want to be a stay at home mom. That doesn’t make you a bad mom.
But that’s not what I heard or what I read. What I heard was “don’t you just love her?” Well, yes, I do. But I miss my career.
“Isn’t she just adorable! Don’t you love being with her?” Yes, yes she is. I’m feeling rather clueless and overwhelmed and would like to do something I know I’m good at, though.
Or my personal favorite:
“They grow up so fast. Cherish every moment.” This one is hard to respond to, because the truth is I can’t cherish every moment unless some of them (ok, a considerable amount of them) don’t involve my child at all. It’s like that phrase- I can’t miss you if you never leave.
I had a baby after I established a career. I was in my mid thirties and had been lucky enough to find a jo. I enjoyed and was good at. I married my husband and we had a baby. Then the guilt started. I felt guilty for wanted to return to work. For wanting to leave the baby in the care of a (qualified) complete stranger, to continue my career.
If you’re in that place, don’t struggle with it like I did. Remember that you are doing the best you can for your child. Your child will learn the value of hard work, determination, ambition, and dedication.
So now when a friend gets pregnant, I tell them “it’s ok to want to go back to work”, and usually I get a sigh of relief, or a thank you.